Tetapi yang namanya menunggu, apalagi yang enggak jelas, ternyata menguras perasaan. Ha, haha. Ternyata ujian pun di-online-kan :) CBT ONLINE CUI. I have never imagined that.
Alhamdulillah sinyal lumayan mendukung, jadi yah, ternyata ujian blok dan ujian hidup bisa dilewati.
Aku sebetulnya mau nulis post tentang kisah bersekolah di SMA Jubel, tapi baru juga di opening, aku udah menyerah. Terlalu banyak yang bisa diceritain, aku bingung banget mau mulai dari mana. Dan perasaan aku tuh... kaya... ya ampun, it was such a good time! Justru kalau terlalu menggebu-gebu gini, aku susah buat articulate pikiranku dengan baik. (Sori, aku engga tahu dan males cari terjemahan articulate... jelek bgt ya mixing bahasanya wkwk)
Heran, kok bisa ya dulu aku sempet males sekolah pas udah di ujung kelas 12............ Ya ya ya, you dont know what you got till its gone.
Akhirnya ya di sinilah aku, memutuskan untuk bercerita soal kehidupan yang sekarang aja. Aku akhirnya kembali ke maraton series! Setelah sekian lama hiatus ngedrakor, akhirnya aku ngedra-ing. Drama inggris. HAHAHA APADEH, sorry. Brooklyn Nine-Nine BAGUS BANGET HANDS DOWN.
Soal kuliah, blok kemarin kita belajar Mikrobiologi & Parasitologi. Bakteri, virus, serangga gitu-gitu beserta penyakit yang disebabkan. OSPE-nya (ujian praktikum daring) masih oke. Tapi CBT-NYA GUYS. Ya Allah. Bener dahhh ampun banget. Doain aku ya semoga selamat :) Sekarang, kita udah mulai masuk blok klinis, diagnosis gitu. Kaget banget, soalnya njomplang kan sama blok dasar... jadi masih harus membiasakan diri.
Soal state of heart, alhamdulillah sekarang lagi baik-baik aja. Well, its actually complicated. Some days its extreme highs, on cloud nine; and the rest of the month Im falling off the edge but minus the excitement and thrill... so its just with fright. Scary huh? And draining, my God.
I am still learning how to deal with that. Sometimes its just with me speaking to myself: STOP! to stop all the bad thoughts. To distract myself from them, actually, and to turn my thoughts into something entirely else... like good things that happened years ago.
Thats how I realize nostalgia is not really bad. So often it makes me go through the day. Remembering the strong feelings (most happen before this Cvoid thing :)) helps me tackling my inner demons.
Eh, anyway, jangan lupa untuk tetap kontak teman-teman! This can slip quickly out of our hands. Kelompokku, sih, punya kebiasaan telpon grup tiap habis ujian. Which is like once a month. Gak sering, ya? Makanya aku juga punya teman-teman lain yang langganan ditelpon. Just to ramble. Dan mempertahankan silaturahmi.
Aku enggak tahu kapan pandemi ini berakhir, tapi aku beneran takut ini bisa merenggangkan hal yang udah dijaga baik-baik. Kadang kita asyik sendiri sampai lupa ngabarin. I think its weird how sometimes I think well why should I tell them things... they might just not care but in fact, THEY DO. Please dont get trapped in your own prejudice. Okay wrong, I mean assumptions.
Your people do care. For real.
Ada juga beberapa orang yang harus di-reach out instead of vice versa, jadi aku harus selalu ngalah dan menghubungi mereka duluan, haha! Kalau dilihat sekilas kesannya jadi kaya bertepuk sebelah tangan gitu ya, tapi gapapa dong, we know better what we’re doing.
We know our real persons.
Oke, ngga nyambung banget ya judul post ini sama isinya. I dont really know what to title, I just did it quick. Yah, beginilah rekap kehidupanku di semester tiga yang baru mulai ini. Not a great start, but still good enough. And I am grateful.
Oh, another fun fact: I accepted it.
Yeah, it. My fate. For so long Im blaming myself and throwing my head against the wall because I suck at letting go. Oke, sebagai side note, ini bukan tentang romantic feelings and whatnot, ya!!! I've dealt with that a long time ago!!!!
This thing is about... myself.
Forgive and forget? I dont do that. Thats where I went wrong.
Now I forgive myself.
Thats it, thats the post. Thank you for reading, wishing you a great day today!
All the love, N.
you actually did superb job, im really proud of you!
BalasHapus